The "Jack in the Box" project was supposed to be an album of songs that traced the life of my father from his birth to his death in 2000.  Some people know the story well.  Others have no idea what I went through from age 12 until my thirties. 

My father, a good man at heart, hurt his back in 1978.  He became disabled and after several back surgeries, became dependent on prescription drugs, specifically Tylenol Nos. 3 and 4.  What followed were years of abuse, choas and total separation from his family.  Emotionally, I believe he died in the 80's, however his body continued to occupy the space around us for another twenty years or so.

One of the first songs I wrote after my father died was called, "And I Seethed."  For twenty years I tried to keep patience with him.  At the same time I tried to better myself by going to college, reading everything I could get my hands on and trying desparately to become the opposite of him.  He hated the fact that I went to college -- became jealous and hateful toward me.  After college, I went to work at the disney-MGM Studios which finally made him happy.  Then, in a string of failed visits to rehab, managed to create so much chaos in my life, I had the choice of abandoning my dad, or going back. 

Here's that story:

Closely related, "Hold On Till He's Gone" is the process of holding out losing it until Dad finally passes.  This song is nothing but hate and angst. The thoughts of grieving and having guilt was always on my mind.  In the end -- after he hit my mother -- I broke his nose and got the full extent of the grief and guilt all the same.

Father's Day was written on Father's Day in Alabama.  I took my son to the grave for the first time. 

This was the result.

Perhaps I'll revisit this project again one of these day.  As a father myself, I see a lot more than I did as a young man.  I understand more about life and death.  I am at peace with my father and I think perhaps he is at peace with me.

Eric